September 8, 2012

• You should to eat less.

   

  

   

  Or, you should eat more and become a REAL woman/man... to be beautiful, that is.

   

  

  I know the popular argument is that the runway and fashion magazines glamorize thinness, and that there have been many many horror stories about models having to eat cotton balls or to throw up and girls suffering from eating disorders because they look through magazines and think that they are not skinny enough to be paid to be put in a magazine. 

  But what about the rest of society, the ones who claim that they are not bothered by what society/media portrays, the ones who claim that they don't believe in that "stuff?" The ones who advocate for more weight gain, for "real women? Are they not doing the same harm?

  There are quite a handful of models who are naturally as skinny as they are. A lot of my friends who are models have  a healthy diet, do not make themselves throw up, exercise here and there or just walk a lot. Yet, they and myself are constantly being told "Wow you need to eat," "Do you eat?" "Are you anorexic?" "Do you starve yourself?" "you must eat like a bird" or, the ultimate opinion, "You'd be beautiful and pretty if you had some more fat."

  Lets reverse this.

  "Why do you eat so much?" "Are you aware that you have more BMI than most of the people around you?" "Do you eat too much ice cream?" "You must eat like a dinosaur" "You'd be beautiful if you lost some weight"

  When these comments are thrown out, they are almost always based on first impression. A person sees a man/woman who has more bones showing and less fat present and assumes those things. A person with a gigantic muffin top walks by and people stare, and think those things. 

  Just because the media glamorizes skinny women does not mean that it is then ok to insult them. Even if you claim it's not your intention, it doesn't mean you're not wrong. Whateve ryour reason is, just becuase someone doesn't appeal to you sexually or you can't see yourself thinking he/she is beautiful doesn't mean that you are right. It doesn't mean that you should then project your opinion on them and give them commands to do what they should to appeal to your senses. 

  You like fatter women? go find fatter women. you like skinnier men? Go find skinner men. 

   

  Just keep in mind that even women and men who a skinny can be hurt. As I'm speaking I have a friend going through therapy for disliking her body image and binge eating. For those of you telling me I'm too skinny, you'd have a field day looking at her. She has been told over and over by people she meets for the first time that she should eat, or that she is way too skinny even though she eats even more than  I do (maybe haha). Male friends who suffer from this, being picked on for not having enough muscle mass, for being scrawny, go through similar issues and rescind in to a shell. 

  And so what if she/he doesn't eat, or eats too much? Are you so narcissistic that you need to tell someone who doesn't have your body fat or appeal to your idea of what is an attractive amount of body fat or bone structure that they need to change? Are you so skin deep that someone who doesn't have the physical attributes to whet your appetite or perception of beauty should deserve your slander or insult? Are you so deluded in to thinking that it is rude and unacceptable to tell a fat person he/she needs to lose weight, but ok to tell a skinny person he/she should gain weight/start eating more?

  It's fine if you have your own type/preference, but it's not fine for you to go around and tlel people that they need to change their body image so that they can appeal to your perception of beauty. Don't keep blaming it on media or fashion. If you are aware that models in fashion are under pressure to preserve a certain body image, and they go through an unhealthy process to obtain it, then be encouraging. Those women and men are real people too. 

  I had a person that I know tell me that I need to gain some weight. This to me makes very little sense because his assumption was that I CAN gain so much weight, and that i DON'T eat. I think this shows a lot more about the commentator than about the reality of my life. Another had posted "Ew...eat some fat." I am perfectly fine with my body type and stay relatively healthy.

  I read the comments, looked at the person's pictures, and just *sighed* from sympathy and pity until I remembered some friends reading this and then going through a series of periods of depression from thinking they were less attractive and ugly, then I became angered by the hypocrisy and the assumptions and comments. 

  So this is for all people who are constantly told they are too skinny, too fat, would be beautiful if *something about adjusting their weight*, just stay healthy. The ones who are telling you these things don't have to think you're beautiful, because someone else will. Just stay healthy. 

  To those who feel the need to let people know that they dont find them attractive and that they should change their weight/body, change your own mind and heart and talk to these people if you feel they are unhealthy, but make sure you have your facts striaght first. Not every skinny person is unhealthy. Just because you see models who are suffering from eating disorders walking the runway doesn't mean all other models or people go through that. Not all fat people are unhealthy. Just becuase supersize me showed how terrible mcdonalds is doesn't mean every fat person is going through that. 

  But maybe they are unhealthy. Change your comment and mouth to say words that encourage these people. Because what you're really doing is showing how ugly you are on the inside, regardless of whether your intention is to do so or not. 

  Quit the comment about "real" women and "real" men. Just because your profession does not require you to change your body image doens't make you any more real. You could very well be destryoing your own health by being constantly stressed and not sleeping, drinking coffee, whatever. You and I and everyone else are real people. 

   

   

   

  Another Friday night spent well. Wine, ramen, with friend,  starbucks talk, and catching up with old friends that lead to this. 

  • 9:45 am
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