Thursday is my favorite day of the school week because on Fridays I end so much earlier than the rest of the days and have less work due than any of the other days. It is also a dangerous day because I really like to nap and screw around on the internet...tumblr, youtube, facebook, you know, all those sites you and i find ourselves squandering precious time on.

Well, today was different. Today, I had this urge to do something other than scroll through memes and rage comics and fashion pictures on tumblr, so I decided to make a cover, it's not amazing like the other videos on by other youtubers out there who have already covered this video a million times, but whatevz! If I had a piano, I'd play it on the piano but sicne I don't....I sang it, like I would in the shower when not at school. I had to try to keep quieter because I've gotten noise complaints before for playing my music too loudly....with my dinky little laptop speakers... -___-

It's not amazing but it's my first try, RAWR. also  I didn't want to be annoying  because my walls are paper thin x.X 

sometimes my voice completely falters because I completely forgot the words esp during the chorus... you'd think i'd remember them since they're so easy. well and also becuase some people were listening outside then i befcame self conscious 

 so...heres to possibly embarrassing myself but also giving you something possibly entertaining to watch

ANYWAIZ. Officially starting exciting job next Monday, I'm so excited, I already started learning the computer language. Also, $$ would be nice

And fashion show this weekend! Hopefully I'll have pictures to show you guys afterwar

I had the honor of being interviewed by journalist Juliana Sesay for our school newspaper PublicAsian. I found out that @bittersweetromantic had recommended my blog to my friend and co-editor in chief Nancy Pham! Thank you so much

http://www.publicasian.com/student-spotlight-victoria-chang-model/

ok now to stop wasting time and get workin... it's already 1 AM

Back from Spring break!

Much productive break, update about that later.

For now, mila and fire contemp/vintage/remixed items lookbook!

All photographs by photog Byron Summers (one of the most patient and kind photogs)

All clothing from/by Mila and Fire 

The other model, the gorgeous Aziza and I played around DC for their spring lookbook. 

 

 

We rode bikes, which was hilarious because I haven't ridden a bike in so many years, so I didn't actually ride it. This summer, or whatever weekend I manage to go home and borrow a friend's bike, I will re-learn. 

 

  

    

   

Then we headed to Potbellys and shot in the store haha

 

   

 

 

 Alright so go check them out! Website is linked =]

 

Back from break, and I am excited as ever to do my homework. I'm not even being sarcastic, I'm actually incredibly excited to start studying, and figure out some proofs that I might fail at. 

I keep wondering if it has to do with my lack of a stable or sure future, as in monetary security, that drives me to fill up my time with activities non stop. But then I realized that I've been like this ever since I could remember. I'd take on too many activities, I'd hoard. Maybe it's just how I am...But sometimes I become so tired my brain feels like it'll become numb and fall out

OK TIME TO PASS OUT FROM MOVING SO MANY HEAVY THINGS before I start reading/studying for midterms haha

 Some more theophilus London

 

 

Red Galaxy Dress from Black Milk! (now linked)

(BTWWWW ITS SOLD OUT FOR THOSE OF YOU WHOVE BEEN WONDERING)

 

 

 

And worn with my red chiffon cardigan thing from Romwe, from some time ago

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's like we see stars whenever we're together

 yup that's my dorm room

so @mrqtran (music connoisseur )recently put up a post with a ton of music on it and as always it was awesome. one of the artists that he posted up was theophilus london, one of my faves, so here are two of my faves from one of my faves yay

theophilus london, goulding's starry eyed remix

PYROMILITIA. MY FAVORITE ...well at least the just the beginning  

 

Ok so it's been surprisingly sunny and warm with a light breeze today, and it's supposedly going to hold up this way for the next two week.s Weather.com, please please please dont' be trickin us! This sun and warmth is my partial happiness and liberation 

can't wait to stargaze comfortably outside 

somehow i became more free last summer

now it's spring, hopefully april wont be so rainy like last year! I'll go dancing in the rain when it heats up a little more

also it's too nice out to do my papers/midterms -_- the birds' chirps are calling meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 I've found myself becoming increasingly busy and toying with the idea of modeling+internship(because it's PAID and cool research)+fullcourseload + orchestra and if it is still feasible for me to even imagine doing it all. I've realized time and time again that this is one of my biggest downfalls, not ahving a direction and wanting to do everything, and not being able to call myself something certain. I have no direction whatsoever, and I end up taking on everything. Perhaps it's because I'm selfish

but each time, I think to mnyself, I did ths before and I'velearned time management, and it's a new opportunity...opportunities sometimes only come once in a lifetime, and if they do appear again, it might not be the same. Instead of realizing that I can build up my repertoire in one area, then get an even bigger opportunity, I let my anxiety get in the way and take on EVERYTHING. It sometimes makes me incredibly angry, actually because I really jsut am so wayward

OK now back to finishing up what is due in the very near future, 2 midterms and 2 papers and final presentation before spring break....and the sun... at least the sun is pouring in through my winow, and the wind isn't screaming and screeching so badly today. I dont think I could take the wind today...not today. I think the sun came just in time to rescue and allow me to finally take one normal breath

it's like molten gold.

actually on second thought I think I am capable of it if I can just....breathe right. 

also it'd be nice if i could find the time and enegery, not just physical but also mental energy to make time for friends. but sometimes through the chaos i just need to be alone and rest. there are only so many seconds a day, and perhaps I'm in such a rush to scrounge up every last one because I feel as if I might turn out to be some failure, with no job, no path in life, which then just leaves me rather distraught. 

I gotta keep teling myself, I'm still 21, but then again, I'm already 21

 

 

potentially PG13 stuff just fyi/warning in case you are bothered by it

 

So a few weeks back, February 10th and 11th, I was in plitzs nyfw and had talked about it before. I found some pictures of designers that I couldn't find before because they were not posted yet, and found some of ones I already posted! 

I can't believe it's been that long since... 0.o

Much more news updates on modeling stuffz, sometimes I can't believe where I am with it all. I'm so incredibly grateful, especially after an interview I did with a school magazine (more details to come!!) where I verbally told her my entire journey through modeling. I know girls always say that they've become more confident, and I sure as hell have, or rather more comfortable with the body I've been given, but I've also proved and seen it proved time and time again that it has A LOT to do with personality, always sunshiny or fierce. I'm still guilty of seeming less excited when I am, which is really bad. Sometimes you just don't like the hair or the clothing, or you're tired, starving hungry sore, but gotta get through it. 

 

 

Janie G Couture

  

Graffeti Couture, Aaliyah is 14 years old btw!

 

 

And...Mila and Fire, DIY studded vest on sale at their site!

 

 

a few more days + a week until Spring break.... cannot wait to wear my high waisted pink and yellow jeans OMGGGG and skirts and just sit outside and not freeze and eeeekk!!! 

Math midterm down, two papers down, 4 more and one more midterm and two presentations til spring break! next Flyday!

Returning to the scene of the crime, where a cold case love ignited two elements, absolutely singed them, aerates the smoke trapped within for God knows how long, as the criminals stare into the aftermath of their destruction. They breathe in and out, relishing the adrenaline, excitement draining their minds...but Time seems to meld together as the seconds dictated by sinking heart palpitations feel as if they could squeeze the blood out. The days that passed were days of a limbo, and all you could do was scream the word strength to yourself, trying to let go of the past inebriation, trying to refrain from going back to witness your ruination. 

But we all know that arsonists can't stay away from the rush of the blaze. It's powerful knowing that you had it all in your control, even to its destruction.

Secretly, we know the solution, we know why our hands are red. Love, I think we killed love.

I missed writing things so much, even though my majors require constant writing... I don't get to write this way. Suddenly got the urge to write this, and sighed with relief after.  Finally ^.^ This might explain why I like candles so much hhaha

 

Green jacket from mila and fire! This was taken for their blog shoot, check out their site to see the blog and store =]

Worn with the beloved black milk circuit board leggings

(It's sold out >< but you can still see their other stuff!!)

one more from them, yellow cropped polo button up! Teehee so cute 

 Musiccc:

From the video game Civ 4: Baba Yetu 

I have this on repeat. I really like these types of songs. I feel liek I"m in a big open plain, tall grass, with a vibrant sky

(If any of you rememberd the space lion song I posted before it's like that part in the middle! ALso...it won a grammy) 

oh yea i lied about staying away from the itnernet. I can't T_T It's like...I gotta take breaks or else my mind just goes x.X

 

 

Just a quick entry before I have to attempt to refrain from non academic/career internet stuffs for a few days for midterms and interviews 

How to tie a scarf:    

      

Take a ring, pull one end of the scarf through, and make a bow then pull it through and do some stuff. Definitely Alexander McQueen inspired...sort ofn not really. I remember seeing McQueen's stuff after I got into a whole skull craze, buying talons and skulls and whatnot. I saw his skull scarfs some months later and went O_O. I guess the point is, it's not really inspired by McQueen, I just like McQueen's skull stuff. so macabre and eerie

(pics from this winter break, January, but didn't get aorund to posting it until now!)

Spices up and brings out the scarf itself!

 

Ring from a store on etsy, I dont remember which I got it about 2 years ago = took a long time to find...9 dollars! 
Scarf: Asos
Navy studded button up tank: DIY studing but from Guess 
Gray v-neck sweater 

Now to break from my break from my essays, midterm week I will beat you!!! >:0

 

YARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

 

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

 also, this theme is very fitting. I recently changed my facebook to Pirate English. Good thing I'm fluent in facebook speech or else I wouldn't know what a lot of it is... like "blabber t'yer mates," sounds like post a comment. but...'tis not, 'tiis not. means "share"

 

Recently, These were seen all  around my campus

(and still can be seen)

I did smile when I saw this. I thought to myself, "aw someone really wants to boost the self esteem of different people, someone really wants to make people smile! It's pink! What nice words!" 

However, it didn't do much to make me feel any prettier. It made me feel hopeful since there are men and women going around livening up the atmosphere, reminding people that they are beautiful, pretty, etc etc.

And I realized I was smiling not because I believed the words written on the post its, but rather because of the concept of the post it note. Then, I realized that if I was already pretty low on self esteem and was really, really disappointed in the way I look, this note probably wouldn't do much to me. I remember seeing this back in high school when I had serious issues about the way I looked- some days, I absolutely hated it. And upon seeing these notes stuck all over school grounds, I would start to wonder how meaningful these words were.

The impersonality of the notes bothered me, and I had constantly wished that those words were said to me by someone close to me. Now, if I think I look like bleh, I think bleh about the situation and go WHATEVS OH HwELLLZ. I think it's because, even though I knew this back when I was little, I've finally accepted and have taken seriously the fact that physical attributes will change and disappear, but your heart is what remains the most controlled. This is something we've accepted as a FACT, but rarely do we actually believe it enough to apply it to ourselves. Say you are in a relationship, the guy finds you super pretty and attractive on the outside, or the girl finds you really handsome. Now say you get in to some accident, or you suddenly get a weird pimple, you go through stress and gain weight, are you still going to be the same to him/her? Are these sticky notes going to help you?

Perhaps they will. Perhaps they'll remind you that someone will think you are just beautiful (a word that shouldn't be thrown around so much, like the word "love," I am guilty of abusing both -__-). But that doesn't solve the root cause of the self esteem issue, does it? 

 A sticky note saying "you're beautiful" really holds little meaning if the girl or guy is torn already, and the word "beautiful" is so overused by so many people to describe more than one woman, not just their wives/girlfriends/s.o's, but to describe many women they pass and see. 

I am not attempting to condemn the actions of the people who started the sticky note concepts, nor am I trying to devalue the uplifting feelings they may deliver to readers. What I AM trying to suggest is instead of relying on sticky notes to convey to strangers you think they're beautiful, attempting to lighten up moods and whatnot, or even assuming that since there are sticky notes, then your job is now done, go ahead and tell your girlfriend your wife your best friend your mom dad husband boyfriend brother whatevz what you think of them.

Impersonal statements and encouragement can only go so far. Statements about the outer appearance can only go half as far as the aforementioned, and are incredibly temporary. Let him/her know what "beautiful" means to you...then they'll be like

HEPPI HAPPIY HAPPY HEPPY JOYJOY YAYYAYYAYAYAYAYSHUYAYAYYYY!!!!!11!!11ON33EONEONE

(please don't think that I'm saying it's USELESS what the people are doing, it's amazing. if you google post it notes smile or something along the lines, you'll see that their websites do much more than post it notes. I'm jsut saying..well...what i said in the last few paragraphs. It's the whole impersonal/personal thing)

 

 ALSO.

 I GOT 9000 VIEWS ON MY LAST POST. HERE.

WTF?!?! Mind boggling, but I guess...thank you to all who viewed it, I didn't know that was 9000 views worth of interesting ness! haha

 

 

current obsessions: BLACK MILKS!! I posted some pictures of these leggings below in my last post, but here are some outfit pictures. Really really really simple and easy to throw on in the morning. THe dress above is the red galaxy print dress by black milk as well, and I can't stop wearing it when iget back to my room sometimes i put it on or just hang it in front of me becuase it's so pretty ><

 

ALSOOO the bag you see in this here pictah below is a DIY one not that i sewed the bag together nooononono... i just did the studding haha

 

I liked the reference to tron/terminator i got last time ha

 

60's + sunshine, please come sooner and be steady  

What I find especially interesting in literature is the use of stichomythia.

LORENZO 
But here the  prince is come to visit you. 
BEL-IMPERIA 
T h a t  argues that he lives in liberty. 
BALTHAZAR 
No madam,  but  in pleasing servitude. 
BEL-IMPERIA 
Your prison then belike is your conceit. 
BALTHAZAR 
Ay, by conceit my freedom is enthralled. 
BEL-IMPERIA 
T h e n  with conceit enlarge yourself again. 
BALTHAZAR 
What if  conceit have laid my heart to gage? 
BEL-IMPERIA 
Pay that you borrowed and recover it. 

 In this scene from Kyd's Spanish Tragedy, Balthazar is attempting to woo Bel Imperia, who claims to be in love with another man already. The quick back and forth banter between the two really gives it a lighter tone, even bordering comedy. It's as if the two should be together since they have matched each other in wit

Anywaiz, just some random thoughts.

some jack johnson- better together

his words are true

 

 

 

AHH!!!!! HI!!! 

THE SUN WAS SO BRIGHT TODAY!! 60's in the DMV area today, just a tad windy but beautiful. 

 Hair today, the fish tail braid! Seconda ttempt at this. First attempt was last night whe n Iwas reading shakespeare aha

I had a 10 AM appointment but woke up right at 9:55, freaked out for less than 2 seconds, threw on a balck shirt and my black milk CIRCUIT BOARDDDD leggings (shown below), swished the mascara brush over my lashes and did my hair while speed walking. ended up gettingto the health center at 10:07 ish, and was still able to be seen. Whew! probably why my hair is so messy...wind + pace

Can't wait until this weather becomes a more steady thing and I can walk out in my black milk circuit board leggings, black shirt, jean jacket everydayyyy (with different combos of that ) I also have the red galaxy print dress! I'll post up full outfit posts latah. After waiting some years to FINALLYget these... I did. 

     

 

Ok now time to rest before I attack my hw and rehearsal >.<

I hope you all have enjoyed this beautifullll weather! Gonna go sit outside and stare at the sun before it sets, after i wake up, and after  math  and before it starts to rain tomorrow. 

 

MUSIC:

Hearts, MMOTHS/Keep shelly in athens

 forever 

 and, the xx again

 

 

Is that F you got on your test homosexual? Is the situation homosexual? Homo erotic? Did you get an F because you had some homosexual experience with the teacher/professor? 

NO?

THEN WHY DOES IT MAKE SENSE TO CALL IT GAY?

This couple is gay. It is two people of the same gender together, in a loving relationship. 

unless the F is having sex or kissing or in love with the paper this is not "gay".

Comparing such a terrible situation to the concept of being gay is derogatory. Regardless of whether or not you like gay marriage, are against gay couples, etc etc, it's still out of respect for humanity and compassion that you refrain from using that comparison. 

Imagine someone who is superbly racist sitting in class, and the professor announces that the final exam is in two days, out of the blue. Some people would say ugh!!, really?!, THATS NOT FAIR, or the occasional tha'ts so gay, which makes the gay people and others uncomfortable. Imagine if someone suddenly said "That's so Chinese!"

Does this make any sense? Even if you're not Chinese, wouldn't this racist comment be a little uncomfortable to listen to? Or even to laugh at?

 It's like the word "abolitionist," in the 19th century, which was pretty much a curse word, except abolitionists were actually doing good things regardless of whether or not they liked black people (some believed in "equal rights", but did not personally like black people...at ALL). Even those who wanted to be nice to black people would shy away from the word abolitionist, and white people hated being called abolitionist. It was socially unacceptable. Though being an abolitionist and being gay are not the same at all, think about the situations. We think it's ridiculous that people would hate being called abolitionists, or that they used it as a curse word. Do you think using the word gay is any better?

Or... better comparision. the n-word. 

 
Sure, some people dont actually mean to say gay people are bad when they use the word gay, but the word fag can also mean cigarette, but is still offensive when used.

There is the common retort that you can make fun of whatever category as long as you fit in it. For example, Asian jokes and the common idea that it's ok to make an asian joke as long as you're asian. if you're not, then maybe you'll go to hell or something. The few people you know, even if it IS 100 + people, do not represent the entire population. And, you never know, because some people don't voice their opinions when they're hurt.

Just...stop and think about what you're saying before you throw out another "this is so damn gay" unless it is actually homosexual. Or anyhting of that nature

 

 

*pre Ruth Hall 70 chapters to read rant*