(perhaps I shoudl explain the origins of these musings. I've been reading incredibly long Arthurian Legend Romances and a knight in each story is described to be chasing adventures and perils in order to rescue the lady, the only one whom he regarded to be his only lover, his only lust, the only beauty in his life, rejceting all temptations and even cursing other lustful advances, knights who would attempt to steal her away, and completing quests in order to find his one love. But I always wondered, if these were real people, how would the advance to that stage? Or is it a first love that we feel this way? ETCETCETCETC rawrawr rawr blah blah etc)

How often do we feel an attachment, a love for a person, and end up telling the person that we will forever love him/her?

How often do we allow our hearts to cling on, separate, find a new love to bestow our attention upon...does your heart transfer, or does it bifurcate?

And what next, what after this second round of a rollercoaster? Then comes along another, and another..

tri-furcate ... n-furcate

How do you stitch yourself together, and does your heart linger? How do you mend, if you ever do?

I always wonder what the capacity of love is for people, if they harbor and keep forever each lover that they've had in their hearts, and if so how is it possible that they could ever focus and fully love another person.

I've had many conversations during which a person will tell me of his previous loves, how one girl and other girls will forever be with him in memory. "A love so great will never be forgotten," to which I outwarldy "aww...?" but inwardly I wonder if this is fair, if it is fair to the next girl, and wondered about what he meant by love.

People have said that it is bad to love too much, to fall into a relationship, a knotted road, too often. Each time you do, the knot tightens and holds you back from extending out more and more.

But what a cynical idea, that no one is able to move on and will forever, unfairly, while claiming a new love, forever hold in his or her heart a previous flame.

Is it fair to expect the other to accept your forever love that you had once promised another?

I wonder how it is possible to claim a new love under those circumstances, how it could be love in the first place. How can a person share his/her heart in that way, so unfairly divided among more than one

Anyway... just musings.

NYC meetup was of course, as always, insane.

And though the actions and activities seem to be the same, the dynamics among the group shifts 

PEEKTURES (from geoff, jeff, alex, fa, Chris, etc etc)

haha a few of us wore feather jackets!( faux leather)

then saw the awesome spinning cube

and they trolled

workin real hard

Then headed to baltimore to bowl. I was part of team fembots and we DOMINATED of course

got a little handsy...

i also did fall aslep there

after showing off my guns

 

 

dont mind the score of 43, fembots were still awesome. Screw blu bawls!

blubawls? he got purple bawls

piolaaaaa some of us had some lime juice it was good after a few sips to get used to

 

m15!! Thank you to Enrique who chose the venue after we wandered around ny in serach of a place...BAR NONE! PSH!

HIGH FIVE YING

birthday girl!

+ geoff 

alex gettin hippie jiggy wit it

hands up in da urrr

(liz bein so excite!)

my girl bianca +creeper alex

it was so incredibly steamy inside, I sat down at the bar for some good minutes but it didn't help so I went outside. Of course, we all know that leaving a hot place to cool off only makes it worse when you go back in. So, I got some water from the bar and dumped it on myself. Ying then stuck ice cubes on me.

I got a little pepper and pink unicorn too =] 

(and thank you  to @nimbusthedragon for my awesome unicorn)

good times =]

 though i missed some of you! like @affinityinunderstanding (and others, I dont know who was there!)

 

 

@roadlesstaken, @cakalusa, @hello_bianca, @suefa_lee, @whotakethmycoke, @|crazyazn|, @nimbusthedragon, @scr00ge, @infinityNY , @timmmmmmy

 

 

 

 

 

 

FNO on sept 8 2011 at Darrell Dean Antique again! Check a few out pics : (more in bottom link)

 

 

 

 

 

For more pictures and descriptions, 

 

click hurr

 

 

 

I had the chance to model again for Dana Greaves of Artaya at DC's first Art All Night DC at Shaw Library.

The collection, per usual, was astoundingly creative. I saw the pieces as she presented them to the stylist/my friend Brooke Kao and I got to wear the piece I liked the most (with a lot of double sided tape haha) All pictures are taken from Brooke becuase the only camera I brought was a disposable one  didn't thinkI'd have time to take pics! These are just back stage pictures, hopefully runway pictures and such will come up soon! But this is a good taste of what we had one We had a total of 4 outfit changes throughout the night. 

After each runway, girls would trade garments and style it differently. Necklaces became belts, pants became shirts/shawls (my last outfit)  and skirts became dresses

I'm pretty sure this was my favorite show I've done. It was such a cohesive group of people working together

Started off with 8 models. Checkout Brooke's freaking fab red hair and her galaxy print leggings that you can't really see here
I've been eyeing some for a while...when  I has da moniezzzz I will get. 
Outfits for first runway  

Julia!

rawr.

 

Outfits for second runway. The thing I'm wearing,the red with the cutouts was my favorite (after I taped it down a lot so that nothing would peepthrough the holes)

Or It can be wornlikeeee

  

or

(dana finalizing the garment)

the gorgeous bustier top (Cassie)

this dress that I'm wearing was worn as/designed to be a skirt but Brooke was like BAM YAY ZING and took her popular belt and made it a dress

by the end of the night ! This is the last (fourth ) runway 

Hopefully runway/more pictures to come! 

 

 Why do Ilove Artaya? Because I'd actually wear this stuff.

So digging the stripes and feminine silhouettes ! I have a skirt that has tons of stripes that I wore to the event and when I saw her leggings that I saw from her previous shows i was like :X yaya I remember these heehee

 Makeup/Hair: There were no MUA/hairstylists! So what you see here is what the models did, +brooke's eyeliner skills on me. eehee

 

His eyes would swing themselves side to side over the same horizontal stretch as they attempted to remove themselves from the calamity of his brewing dismay that he tried to hide beneath his breaking, drooping smile. His turmoil usually revolved around one word in the tumbling hills spanning the horizon of letters, one word or idiom foreign to him. It was as if the sun set and darkened his sensory processors.

He'd ask for my help, his eyes keenly and astutely studying the obstacle with an intensity that erased the other lines around the scribbles he was deciphering. He zoned in, magnified his rage within while his eyes' sense detached from the ability to understand what they see, overridden by disappointment. 

I'd always explain to him, sit down and tell him the meaning,give other usages, or say in Chinese, then segue into a conversation about a topic that interests him, usually on the subject of programming, artificial intelligence, identities, something providing discursive content. The distraught that settled within his heart peered to easily through his unsettled eyes- it always pains me to see how much they have sunken throughout the years. And though a sparkle would land in his eyes and a smile enumerated with reasons for happiness would flash over him, it was like watching a star twinkle and attempt to find it's position the next second- lost in space. 

Though the definitions and explanations would make sense to him, he just couldn't let go of the disappointment from his own failed expectations. His mutterings, "I should be better than this," or in his rage "I wish I had the chance to have more children," weighed my heart so deep down to hear his disappointment that stirred within at all times of his life.  

His eyes would go back to the line, just that one line containing his then mortal enemy, an enemy created from his own self-destructive manner, and read empty words. His inability to let his mind free from the hold of his self-deprecation caused him to focus on this one mistake, this one missed knowledge in his 50 years of prestige. His soul would do the same as his eyes and mind, it'd crush itself in on one point until he was rendered thoughtless except with anger and destitution. It's as if not knowing one word would destroy his entire world, his perfect image he set out for himself. He had the habit of reducing himself. He had a way of so easily losing his mind within his contemplative maze he dug through his brain, losing himself within its shadows.

If only he could read the entire paragraph...the entire sentence, maybe then he'd understand. Maybe then he'd see himself for what he is, that all his shortcomings and failures that he believes his family and the world sees were molded well in to him, that perhaps they even heighten his excellence as a father. If only the bigger picture were available for his eyes. 

He attempts to hide his cries within, hiding them from the world, they see his smile he tries to feign. His eyes, dry from invisible tears falling within from sleepless nights, mulling over a point within a forest of good,a forest of answers, plead for console.   

And I refuse to be the world, I never could be. What great pains me harbors, whatever he thinks I don't know, whatever he attempts to hide, have been transparent from the beginning.  

if only we could so easily step back from time to time... 

__________________________________________________________

Another zoning out in class doodle...on myself. haha

 

 (tumble rumble...)

Though I do like snakes, I don't know if I'd have one for a pet. 

I want a harmless panda.

Obsessed with : 

(Originally byelton john but I like this better )

 

Also, if you live in the DC area or near it, come to Art All night!

I'll be modeling in it for Artaya, and my friend Brooke Kao will be there too  

 

I received a special care package full of sweet surprises while I was sick. I shall brag about it later.  haaahaha

 

 

I've been sort of a funk lately, illness and fevers and other things and trying to catch up with reading so I haven't been updating or really reading anyone's posts but I will!!

 The night before I started going downhill, I went to an event hosted by Rag&Bone, the DC DIY project that my friend Brooke Kao (moohoop.tumblr.com) was part of as an ambassador (good thing my fever held out until the morning after the event!)

The owners/designers  of Rag&bone

Brooke, David (one of the co-owners) , Mica, and I 

For more pics and descriptions, click hurrr 

 In other news, I'm now officially in the gamers smphony orchestra. We had our first rehearsal today,and even though I didn't know 90% of the music, I was so happy to be able to play my violin again since this summer's Les Mes production.

We are playing pokemon as part of it, and I realized that even though Pokemon was part of my childhood I never played it with the sound on or rarely watched it with the sound onbecause we were never allowed to play video games or watch TV. The only song I knew from it was the main theme, but that wasn't part of the medley. 

so most of the time I was like...O_O what...?

Also, I was unaware that sonic had a piece to it, or at least an orchestral piece.

Shadow of the Colossus has some beautiful beautiful beauitffullll arrangements. That is one piece I'm excited to play and hear in full

 

I hope all is well Autumn smells so nice

 also...i currently have spacers between my teeth.

 

I AM GETTING BRACES.

 

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

DAMNNITTTTTBAHHHHH 

my wisdom teeth, all but one, are growing in sideways.

yea SIDEWAYS. THe xray was pretty interesting to look at, the one looked healthy and growing in the right direction, but one of them on the bottom is going in toward the other teeth and the two on top are slanted.

apparently there is something with stress (I dont remember the entire thing he said) that has caused my jaw to shift, and narrow so there is a lot of crowding 

 but i've never really been THAT stressed, just a few moments of T_T here and there. So... after braces, wisdom teeth are coming out in December. woohoo

it was pretty interesting, the xrays =] 

now to deal with the $$ of braces $_$

Spend blinggg to get bling added on. oh noez

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and bend toward that smile. 

 Christmas came early  

Part of the decorations in my dorm room. 

 

 

 

After going to all my 5 classes, I've been so excited for this coming semester. 

I could go in to a lot of details but right now I'm in a rush to get out and leave my white walled room. I feel confined... and drained.

These white walls seem to do nothing but stare at me and reflect back to me doubts and downfalls of myself

I've found myself to be happier out in the green fields while reading my various collections of books from Virginia Woolf, Walden, Equiano...

the air has changed to become brisk and light, with a slight breeze to toss up some strands of hair as eyes peer into the setting sun

 

And to bid adieu to summer, I've paired my yellow blocked heels from Aldo with a vintage dress from plumvintage on etsy 

Ok so iknow that some of these still have my mosquito bites and stuff but that's becuase they're untouched/unedited aside from his signature ><

So TOO BAD PEOPLE I HOPE YOU LIKE SCARS ON MY LEGS. 

=]

 

(FREAKING MOSQUITOS)

 

 

 I wonder what stories and chapters will be written this time of year...

Enjoy your fall transition =]

 

http://lookbook.nu/look/2372319-Stepping-into-Fall-in-summer-s-colors-Aldo-heels-2ND-TRY

 artists-musings.tumblr.com

 (I dont think I credited the photographer!)
photog: Dwayne magnetic images 

My last day at home for the summer was yesterday, August 28th. As I packed and looked through books, pictures, presents, articles, I smiled at the past summer's memories. Though the amount of pictures I have do not reflect the number of stored sentiments, cherished moments, laughter, they always spin across my mind at all times.. One thing that I know was a big theme of my summer was/is music. As I cleaned, I thought about which songs would best represent my summer and came up with a few, but one of the handful that will forever stick with me is Claire de Lune by Debussy. 

I'll miss being able to wake up and run down to te (terribly out of tune) piano whenever I please, so I decided to record part of (I only had 2/5 pages!=[) the piano part of Claire de lune. Soon, i'll have up a violin+guitar duet =] it sounds beautiful together

 

 

Conversations under the moon tantalize... 

(hehe also, the white stone you see on my bracelet is a moon stone)

hopeully one day i'll be able to record with a better quality camerea/recorder. 

I hope you guys enjoyed your summer =]

I really like this transition stage from summer to autumn, the air is crisp and easy to breath in. I can't wait to see the auburn, red hue of autumn's foliage envelope the earth.  

  

Here is the poncho I wore to go outsid eand watch the effects of hurricane Irene.

Please keep in mind those who have lost anything (loved ones, power, etc) to the hurricane!

 ALSO...Thank you to ASSCATS for the credits yayy

 

i got a mosquito bite on my forehead if you didn't ntice from the videos