Month: April 2013

  • national commercial shoot

    HEY EVERYONE

    So I haven't really been active on here, ever since my parents found my xanga and had a short glance right before I could set it on lock. There are thoughts on here I'd rather tem not read about.

     

    But I've been more active here:

     

    victoriamisu.blogspot.com

    where I chronicle fashion, other thoughts and my fashion/modeling life!

     

    BUT Update: i was recently shooting a national commercial for DC, so you can see updates there!

     

  • Spirit of fear

     

    The brilliant French had understood the concept of the nagging could-have-beens, giving it the name of esprit de l'esaclier.

    It's appropriate to use this term when the perfect comeback suddenly decides to materialize and dance on your tongue, leavnig you angry as you understand how you could ahve won the argument if only you had thought of this earlier.

    But what term to we use to describe the feeling of missed love? Of turning our backs because we believe in the inevitability of a relationship's occurrence or viability, so we settle for what is convenient and what is presented?

    There are things that will be forever left unsaid, that we wish we would have spoken sooner when we had the chance, or pried to get an answer to beforehand. Arguments are easy to forget about, but the feeling of having missed out on an entire human being's love is another pain that engulfs us.

    What spirit, then , is that?

    What spirit can describe the haunting, breathstealing event of acknowledging that if only we had taken that one step, those few minutes, that one day, that one move, it could have all changed? If only those few words would have brought that one person closer?

    Unlike arguments, where we are dominated by our dignity and a drive to win, we're left dominated by fear.

    How often we let ourselves collapse and watch our shinging unicorn wander off as we let our fate be determined by fear.

     

    Do we actually believe that the relationship would never happen? Do we actually believe that it is too hard to pursue? No. We use these to smother the truth, because we fear understanding we are in fear.

    Then, we can only surrender to time and hope, and pray that God guides it back.

     

     

     

    Sometimes I wonder if both parties had paused, from the same grappling stagnation brought on by fear.

    What if i'ts because something seems so perfect, that we run from it?