December 22, 2012

  • Graduating college

     

    Graduation speeches almost always make me a little bit uneasy. Not the speeches by the older professionals who are invited, but the student speakers. Their diversity and high grade point average is very appealing and inspiring, but they deliver a rather elitist message that is all just for good feeling and hand claps.

    The most commonly delivered message goes something like "we had so many finals, so many parties, so much stress, coffee, and finals, and ...finals, and friends and tests and...we just finished finals, while the rest of the world is off with their lives, we are just still studying"

    It's not like the entire rest of the world is happily sleeping while we students pull all nighters. It's not like we all party our life away only to accrue all our work and dump it all in the very last minute to complete.

    It's not as if the rest of the world is not struggling to sleep, to rest, to relieve their own anxiety. 

    However, this year, I heard a great commencement speech. I can't remember her name now, but her motto (message..whatever you want to call it) was to always give back, alaywas appreciate. Nothing about how students have it so hard, when we really don't. We are given a blessing in the form of education and a scholarly environment, surrounded by peers who are striving as well.

    After the main commencement (and the individual college ones! But that's not related to the aforementioned) I saw loved ones and my great friends who came to graduation, some with flowers (you guys are awesome). My parents had been rather accepting on the outside of my academic choices, aka my not having stuck with engineeirng and pursuing a different route. Thank you to all my friends who came out to graduation :) it means a lot that you made the time even though some of you lived far, were at doctors appointments, had to dip out of another graduation, thank you to you all. and thank you to all who said congratulations and all the support and happiness, both you who came to graduation and you who couldn't come 

    To all of you who knew of my struggle, and were physically literally by my side, on the phone, in your prayers ( i know who all of you are as well...even the ones i told in passing), thank you, seriously thank you for being there even when I was a bit unbearable. 

    I rarely ever reach a point where I feel like I'm goingt o lose all control, but this time what I learned was to let go. I can't always be in control or manipulate a situation

    I still wish I could tell them about my fashiony stuff though, but I don't feel as if the time is right.

    So on that note, I was recently published in a small magazine Editorial 

    heah 

    pages 75 to 79

    and have a small picture in marie claire magazine with my friend Brooke Kao :D she s the one holding the orange purse, on the left page with the biggest picture like she deserves to have.

     

     

     

    and happy birthday to the amazing @lovelybish :)

     

     

     

     College has passed, and I feel thankful for what I've become and chosen to continue to be and surround myself with, yet I've never been more unstructured. I have a job right now that my parents are happy with, but I still feel uncertain. I feel as if I was made for more and am scared that I truly did squander my time/talents away on something that my parents warned me not to pursue, yet I still am... 

    As sturgeon reminds me frequently, "one day at a time. do what you need to get done on that day, and worry of nothing else"

    I was never good at that, just waiting. I grasped at everything, every opportunity even if it didn't interest me. I'd go for all the programming positions for companies I wasn't really interested in working with and said yes to offers before I considered others. I'm afraid to have nothing, yet in the end I'll end up with nothing for wanting everything. Greed will eat us away

    sometimes you just have to wait... 

    Have very happy holidays, those of you who can enjoy it. For those of you who can't and are hurting, I hope and pray you heal soon. Don't callous your heart 

     

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